about me

My photo
Denver, Colorado, United States
i'm 33. i live with my husband, baby daughter 2 dogs and 1 kitty. i'm a chemical engineer with an MBA and work in technical sales. i tend to bite off more than i *think* i can chew and end up with a full bulging mouth for awhile before i can finally swallow. i thrive in chaos, but strive for order.


day after christmas = best shopping day ever!

today i hit the after christmas sales to get some good deals. i try *really* hard to not buy christmas decorations and things before christmas because they always go 50%-75% off the day after!

here's a summary of my loot:

petsmart - christmas treats and toys 50% off

everything in this photo was $33.70. but i had a $5 coupon and a $25 gift certificate, so I only paid $3.70. hopefully these chews will last a few months!

then i went to target and got the following at 50% off:
1 can mulling spices, 2 cans of christmas cookie sprinkles, 3 travel coffee mugs (one electrically keeps the beverages warm), 2 cool pillows for my couch, 2 rugs for the kitchen, 8 red placemats, 3 catnip toys, 2 packages of dog treats, 3 packages of cat treats, 3 ornaments, 1 snowman candle, 1 can chicken spice rub, 1 can beef spice rub, package of 3 extension cords, set of queen flannel sheets, 1 bathroom hand towel, package of 4 kitchen towels, table runner, kitchen towel/potholder set, tablecloth, 2 snowman candle holders, 2 votive candle holders, 1 package of napkins, and one decorative "jingle bell tree". total spent: $157.85

i also stopped by jc penney because i had a coupon, but they didn't have much and there were a ton of annoying people there. i did still get 2 ornaments (75% off) and a $50 waffle maker for $20. we've been wanting a waffle maker for awhile!

i wanted to go to cost plus and check out their decorations and holiday wine, but on my way there i got a call from a prospective tenant and had to go show the house. i may try to head over there tomorrow if i have some time.

then i went to the gap.com and got a cute striped hat, and a nice wool coat and some dressier pants for j (i think the coat will be his anniversary present). everything was on sale and then i got an additional 25% off with the code "sale". value: approximately $225.. and i spent just over $100 which included shipping and tax.

i also went to walgreens and transferred a prescription, receiving a $25 gift card in the process!

all these savings will make up for having to pay full price for the wii* fit and all the accessories i'm sure we'll have to buy!

*j's dad got us a wii for christmas!


j and i have decided to have a little competition.. since he can't seem to quit smoking, and i can't seem to lose 15 pounds.

at first, it was going to be the first one to their goal would get a special prize and the looser would have to do something embarrassing.

but i couldn't think of a prize good enough, or a punishment embarrassing enough to actually motivate me. i have been trying to lose 15 pounds for years, obviously i have a hard time finding something to motivate me. the standard ones like looking better, feeling better, etc just don't seem to be enough. darn high self esteem and boyfriend that loves me just the way i am. plus, i would rather j stopped smoking anyway.

so then we thought that we could make it a mutual goal and plan a prize for both of us - but we don't get it until we both reach our goal. that way, we can encourage each other and it's just a win-win situation. i think we're going to plan an elaborate weekend trip or something. we have a week to work out all the details, since the challenge starts on jan 1.

the other thing we want to do in 2009 is get our finances in order. i have decent credit, but a bit of debt.. j has no debt and makes good money, but has lousy credit. we're going to attempt to live on just his salary in 2009 and use mine to pay off debt and save. it's going to be tighter than we're used to, but at least his salary covers all our bills and a bit of spending money for both of us. i think i'll do ok with it, but j is an impulse-shopper that doesn't keep track of things too well so we'll see. our spending money is going to be cash, so as long as he remembers to go to the atm every week, we should be fine.

i love the new year.. fresh starts and new changes.. things always seem so promising!


get out of my way!

i was driving to the movie theater this past weekend with j, my brother, and my SIL. we went to see 4 christmases, which had its cute moments, but vince vaughn gets annoying after awhile. plus i didn't like reese witherspoon's bangs. but overall it wasn't bad.

to get to the theater, i had to turn left from california (a one way) onto 14th (another one way). there were people still entering the crosswalk about 30 seconds AFTER the red hand stopped flashing and i had the green light. these people were just moseying along, oblivious to the fact that it was *my* turn and they should have waited for the crosswalk light to turn green. one girl was even texting as she slowly walked across the street.

i got fed up waiting for them and honked.

a guy in the group flipped me off and yelled something at me.. i'm not sure what, but i returned the gesture to him as i drove by. jerk.

seriously. if you're crossing against the light, you should at LEAST hussle a little and look sorry for making me wait!


do these stripes make me look fast?

this is my car.

i know. it's super cute.

and apparently, invisible.

i have owned this car for almost 3 years. and i have been hit 3 times.

#1: summer 2006 - was parked at a friends house and someone in a large SUV backed into me. i had a huge dent in the hood from their ball hitch. fortunately, they were decent enough to leave a note and paid the $1500 repair bill.

#2: labor day weekend 2007 - was driving home from going out and a tweeker kid ran a stop sign and t-boned me. shattered the driver window, mangled the driver door. thank god no one was hurt. he was driving his friends mom's car. i didn't want to call the police because although i was ok to drive, i had been drinking that night and wasn't sure if i would register on a breathalyzer. i think the kid was on something too because he didn't want to call the police either. i was smart enough to get the license plate. i filed a police report the next day, saying that it was late and i didn't feel safe waiting for the cops to show up and thought it would be ok because no one was hurt. the owner of the car's insurance paid the $3500 repair bill.

#3: fall 2008 - was parked in front of my house. went outside and saw that my back hatch door was bashed in and there was red paint where it had been hit. no note. i filed a police report and then played detective in my neighborhood for weeks, checking the front of every red vehicle i saw. nada. so i sucked it up and claimed it on my insurance. its going into the shop this week. buh-bye $1000 deductable. i have a feeling it was a friend/family member of the immigrant family across the street - they are always parking in front of my house and dropping off or picking people up. and i'll bet dollars to doughnuts that they don't have car insurance. fuckers.

so not only do i seem to get hit a lot, i have about twice as many close calls. maybe only 10% of them are my fault. today i experienced 2 within an hour of each other.

#1: turning left onto colorado from 40th street. car in front of me slams on its brakes, so i slam on mine. turns out a stupid double-long fed ex truck was doing a U-TURN on a RED LIGHT on colorado blvd and got in the way of the guy in front of me. i passed the fed ex truck and honked. the guy behind me was riding my tail and when we got onto I-70, he sped up to pass me, honked, and flipped me off! WTF did *I* do? i hate that.

#2: going straight in the old navy parking lot. some lady pulls out and turns RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME. i slam on my brakes and lay on the horn. i was literally inches away from hitting her. i double checked to make sure i didn't run a stop sign or anything, and of course, i had the right of way.

is it because my car is small and people just don't SEE me? or are there more idiot drivers on the road now more than ever? i think i might have my insurance deductible lowered...


time to sink some money into the houses

i don't know if i ever mentioned that i am the landlord of two rental houses. the tenants in one of my houses just gave notice and they will be moving out this month, which means that i need to find some new renters. i put ads up all over and actually have a showing tomorrow, so that's great! anyhow, the house is old and a lot of the stuff in it isn't very nice, so we decided that we're going to put some money into it and make it a nicer place to live for the new tenants. here is what we need to do:

  • replace carpet in 2 bedrooms and the basement

  • paint every room

  • install new ceiling light fixtures in bedrooms

  • replace bathroom tile, toilet, vanity, mirror, and light fixture in both bathrooms

  • repair showers in both bathrooms

  • re-tile kitchen floor, install garbage disposal

it's a lot, but we're going to do it now and are looking at it like a practice house-flip. today we went shopping and found the carpet and light fixtures. the carpet place had remnants and we were able to find two matching high quality carpet pieces for the bedrooms. the basement is a different carpet, but the guy gave us a $0.50/sq ft discount. we also paid for installation, because we have no idea how to do it. total for ~400 sq feet of carpet + installation: $777

then we went next door to the lighting place that is moving and having a huge 20%-60% off sale. we bought 2 bathroom light fixtures and the 2 bedroom light fixtures. they were 20% and 40% off and we only paid $110! they would have been well over $200 at home depot, so i think we got a good deal.

i've been looking on craigslist, and between that and the habitat for humanity thrift store, i think we can get the bathroom vanities, cabinets, sinks, toilets, tile etc for pretty cheap.

then i started thinking.. you know, i really don't like the vanity, sink, and cabinet in my bathroom... so i suggested to j that we take those out and put them in the rental house.. then we can get nice ones for us! we might be spending more now than we would just buying cheap ones, BUT we've been wanting to replace ours anyway and now we won't have to buy other ones for one of the bathrooms. he thought that was a good idea, as long as we could find something we liked that was reasonably priced. we want one of those vessel sinks and cabinetry in a dark wood finish.

they are not reasonably priced.

here's an example of one i like.

$665! and that's just for the base.. it doesn't even include the sink.

to make matters more difficult, our bathroom is so tiny that the vanity can't be deeper than 15". that's not very big (standard is 22"). so what i would like to do is find a 15" x 30" cabinet in a dark wood with some drawers or storage space and then drill the holes to install a vessel sink (~$100 for a new one on craigslist) and faucet.

how do i do an internet search for that? i can't figure out what it would be called.. i've tried vanity base, cabinet, and a few other things. i'm not finding what i want. any ideas?

i could always do a pedistal sink, but we have limited storage as it is, so i wanted to avoid that option.

j is planning to take a woodworking class next year. i can't wait until he can just MAKE us what we want.


christmas destruction

for those of you that know me, you know that i have lost my fair share of personal belongings to the antics of my dogs. luckily, the incidents are getting fewer and farther between, but occasionally i am still greeted by a shredded possession.

today it was this

how silly of me to think that i could actually wrap all my presents and put them under the tree! especially ones that are technically food products. this one was for my mom's husband tom - a gift pack of spices from the savory spice shop* in denver. i'm going to take it in and see if they'll repackage the gift box for me - at least they didn't get through the spice jars!

this reminded me of a story my mom always tells about their first christmas when our dog champ was a puppy. this was before i was born, my parents were just married, and when they came home from work, there was wrapping paper and presents strewn all about the room. it turns out that my aunt paula had sent champ a bone and he tore through everything looking for it. my mom and dad had no idea who had given them what, which made thank you notes fun, i'm sure. dear grandma, thank you for the (check one): levis, book, frying pan, sweater. love sandie and luther.

and, because you all know i'm a list person, i'm going to try to compile a list of things my dogs have eaten over the past 2 1/2 years. i don't even want to think about the monetary value.
  • 15 pairs of shoes
  • 20 pairs of underwear
  • 5 expensive bras
  • 1 belt
  • 2 ball caps
  • 3 t shirts
  • 1 bazillion white athletic socks
  • 100 black dress socks
  • 3 remote controls
  • 1 fabric couch
  • 1 black leather couch
  • 1 brown leather couch cushion
  • 1 brown leather couch leg
  • 4 futon mattresses
  • 3 corners of baseboard woodwork
  • 4 dining room chair legs
  • 1 dining room table leg
  • 2 dog beds
  • 2 down comfortors
  • 6 pillows
  • 1 bottle of lotion
  • 25 pens/markers/highlighters
  • 1 autographed book
  • 2 coupon books
  • 2 paper back books
  • 1 library book
  • 3 ski hats
  • 1 scarf
  • 1 glove
  • 1 bottle of thyroid medication
  • 1 basketball belonging to neighbor kid
  • 2 vaccuum cleaner attachments
  • 1 christmas present
i know i'm missing some.

anyone else wanting to see marley & me on christmas? it will be like watching jerry springer when you're having some family drama.. suddenly, your life doesn't seem so bad!

*AWESOME store! all blended locally, reasonably priced, and yum! i highly recommend to the foodies out there..


and... i'm back!

so i know i kind of suck at blogging sometimes. i think it's during the summer when i slack off because there are just so many other things going on. when it starts getting colder, i spend a lot more time surfin' the net and am inspired to post more. the problem is when i take too much time off, i don't know where to start again. that's how i was keeping a journal too.. i'll have daily entries for 6 months and then nothing for 5 years.

a lot has been happening with me since last may. here is a rundown:
  • j moved in and we are very happy. he's going to propose soon, judging by the things he's saying.. i just don't know when - which is good!
  • i turned 30 in june and went skydiving. i didn't like it as much as i thought i would. in fact, i was absolutely terrified and have the video to prove it.
  • my baby brother got married in june to the awesomist girl ever - i love them!
  • in august i ended up taking over for the property management company that was managing my 2 rental properties. suffice it to say that they weren't doing their job and now i am a full blown landlord and i hate it. i need to get these houses refinanced and then hire a new company. however, j and i are getting a lot of practice fixing things up.
  • my job is still fabulous and i love it.
  • j brought home a stray kitten that he found on the drill rig. now the animals outweigh the humans. it's fun to watch him play with the dogs.
  • we've devised a plan to get all our debt paid off and be financially secure by 2011. then we can start having the babies and all that good stuff. :) we're going to live off of his salary and use mine to pay off debt/save for as long as we can. i never want to have debt again. ever.
  • still in school. 2 classes this semester. 2 next semester. 1 in the fall. then i'm DONE.
  • any extra money we do have has been going into the house. we figure we're going to be here a little longer than we thought, so we have been doing some great upgrades. i will post pictures if i find time.
that's about it for the major stuff. i've been kind of a recluse lately - definitely not going out as much. between work and school and the 3 houses and j's crazy work schedule and the pets, i really don't have much time to do anything else. and i really can't drink as much as i used to. i'm not complaining. it will help when we're living frugally next year!

keep checking back - i have a feeling i'll be posting a lot more for awhile.


what's next, doggie diets?

j and i were doing a little shopping yesterday when we came across these.

Portioned controlled snack pouches for dogs.

Seriously? Are we counting calories for our dogs now? Don't we have more important things to worry about? Next thing you'll be hearing about is the Canine Obesity Epidemic. Just what we need - another reason for the rest of the world to laugh at us.


ex marks the spot

j was talking about his ex last night. i usually have the mindset that ex's are ex's for a reason, and so i don't get bent out of shape when a current boyfriend talks about them. but something last night hit a nerve. maybe because we're getting so serious.. maybe because it's that time of the month. i have no idea.. but i was bothered because it bothered me.

this prompted me to reflect on past relationships. thinking about good times we had. wondering what they're doing in their life. do they ever wonder about me? what memories do they have?

i googled the only two significant ones to see if i could gleam any information about their lives. the one from college. my first. now married. living in boulder with his wife and 2 dogs. a perpetual graduate student. no information found on the second one. probably a good thing, but maddening to me.

i know that i wouldn't have been happy with either one of them. i should assume that j feels the same way about his and let that little reality check silence the insecurity.


since i am feeling generous

here are some more good deals for ya.

i can't quite pull this off, but still cute!
victorias secret string bikini - $5.99
if you use the code BSEXY, you get a free tote bag.
if you also use the code SP89829, you get free shipping.

Print out the form for the Hershey's Mega Movie Ticket Offer (3/1/09) Limit 4 per household.
Collect and send in 15 Mega Movie Bonus Points from specially marked packages of TWIZZLERS, HERSHEY’S MINIATURES, HERSHEY’S NUGGETS, KISSES, REESE’S and YORK products to receive one FREE movie admission valued up to $8.50. Mega Movie 10% bonus bags of TWIZZLERS candies are worth 3 points each. Mega Movie 10% bonus bags of various Hershey’s candies are worth 5 points each. Combine point values for a total of 15 points for redemption.

new customer for redbox DVD rental? use code DVDONME for a free movie.

get a free noxema razor. there was a coupon in sunday's paper - and here is a try-me-free form.

happy shopping!

i heart walgreens

for those of you that haven't discovered walgreens easy saver catalog yet, you are missing out!

here is a run down of everything i bought and how much it ended up costing me.

12 bars of zest soap
4 bars of olay soap
8 bars of ivory soap
3 packages of cadburry chocolate eggs
1 tube of colgate toothpaste
1 bottle of garnier nutritioniste skin serum
1 bottle of thermadent mouth rinse
2 bottles of olay bodywash
1 bottle of garnier hair gel
1 bottle of old spice bodywash
4 cans of healthy choice soup
2 fuzzy dog toys
1 package of breathe right nose strips
1 package of gel pens
1 bottle of tide
2 birthday cards
1 tube of vaseline hand cream
1 gillette razor with blades
3 trial size herbal essence shampoos
3 trial size herbal essence conditioners

that's a lot of stuff, right? let's see how much i paid (including sales tax).
total before coupons and rebates: $121.66
less manufacturers coupons: $ - $9.60
less register rewards i earned for buying all that soap and bodywash and the razor: -$37.00
less rebates from items in the easysaver catalog: -$29.96
less 10% rebate bonus for putting the rebate on a giftcard: -$2.99

that's right folks, i saved $79.55 just by being a smart shopper

there are two more free after rebate items that the store was out of and I need to get. some listerine mouthwash ($3.99) and some naturemade vitamins ($8.00). that's another $13.19 in savings (counting the extra 10% on the giftcard). i will buy $12 worth of soap to get the $12 in register rewards and then use that to buy the mouthwash and vitamins. that will add another $25.19 to my savings - making it $104.74!

and i won't have to buy soap for the rest of the year!


i'm ready

i felt it. friday night. returned the i love you. no weirdness. it feels right. this one is the one. besides just feeling it, i have noticed myself acting differently than i have in past relationships.

namely, i don't want to change him.

i can live with his quirks and flaws and imperfections. even the SNORING. and in return, he will live with mine. the positives far outweigh the negatives.

thinking that you can find a mate who has no negative traits is setting yourself up for a lifetime of dissapointment.

nagging always has the opposite effect. dwelling on things that you can't change is the fastest way to drive yourself crazy.

if i want to get some sleep, i need to suck it up and invest in a good pair of ear plugs.


i was caught off guard

so things with me and j have been getting pretty serious, pretty fast.

i've always figured that when i meet the right person, i'll just know. i've dated so much and have collected enough life experience to decide pretty quickly what will work and what won't. j seems to subscribe to the same school of thought. which is why it doesn't seem weird to me (although sometimes i think it should) that after nearly a month of dating we are already talking about the future.. marriage, kids, houses, finances. and we both are on the same page with all the major issues.

of course, it's all still talked about in speculation - if's and might's and maybe's. to minimize the thoughts of "whoa, are we going too fast here?" that might creep up.

yesterday we were at home depot, looking for parts for the peephole that j has insisted he wants to put in my door (to keep me safe). we're walking down the nuts & bolts aisle hand in hand when suddenly he stops, looks at me, and says "i love you.".

i was so caught off guard that i didn't know what to do. i smiled and kissed him and squeezed his hand, but remained silent. the whole time i'm just thinking whooooa and how i have no idea how to respond. 5 years ago i would have immediately said "i love you too!", not caring whether i really meant it or not.. or maybe more importantly, not actually knowing if i meant it or not. when you're younger it's something that is a little easier to throw around.

while i'm thinking about what to say, he says it again.

"i mean it, i love you"

i gave him a huge hug and told him that i could feel the same way but that it was too soon for me to actually verbalize it. and he took it well - and said he understood and no pressure and take all the time i need.. and know that he loved me and that it wasn't a term he threw around loosely either.

i'm thrilled that i may have stumbled upon the right guy for me and i'm trying not to be too cautious or jaded or scared or skeptical. and just let it happen.

sometimes it's hard to accept the reality that things may be happening the way you always thought they would.

i've been in limbo for awhile, anticipating the next step. will i be brave enough to take it?


"so, did your fridge throw up?"

j's response when i told him that i bought some regular high fat peanut butter for the mouse traps.

he likes to make fun of my organic, healthy food.

and i still didn't catch any mice. i will be buying different traps tomorrow.


walkway fairy

i bundled up this morning to shovel off the 4" of snow from my walkway. and when i stepped outside, my walk had already been shoveled and sprinkled with ice melt! even the path that went around to the back yard (which i never bother doing).

i thought it was my new *boyfriend* j and got all excited because what a sweet thing to do for me, right? but when i texted him to say thank you, he said it wasn't him. i have no idea who else it could have been, but it made my day!

so um, yeah, that's right, i said boyfriend. j came over last night and made me dinner. i was supposed to go to his house, but since i hadn't been feeling well, he came over to me instead. the boy made HOMEMADE pasta and a delicious HOMEMADE sauce. he also brought over salad with croƻtons and HOMEMADE ranch dressing, bread, wine, and sparkling water. and movies. and treats for the doggies. and it was DELICIOUS.

after dinner he asked me if he could call me his girlfriend because he wants to be my boyfriend. how cute is that? i told him that i would think about it - because although i am not seeing anyone else, i haven't had a "boyfriend" since si.. and so i need to get used to the idea. he said he was smitten with me.

i'm going to let him woo me for as long as i can. it's nice having someone smitten with you.


operation "eek a mouse", day two, failure

since the mice didn't touch the natural organic almond butter i placed in the traps for them 2 nights ago, and since i have been sick and didn't get to the grocery store yesterday, the traps got baited with my laughing cow spreadable lowfat cheese. it's soft and i really smeared it all into the trap so they couldn't just grab it and run.

last night i heard one of the traps snap!

this morning i peered gingerly around the kitchen stove.. and..


except that this time, the little fuckers had managed to eat almost all the cheese off of the traps without setting it off. one was practically licked clean. one had been triggered, but it was empty.

they're either really small or really smart.


operation "eek a mouse", day one, failure

i had an exterminator come out to take a look at my mouse problem. they want $600 to spray some "pet safe" chemical (is there such a thing?) outside my house and then trap the mice.

i decided that i would try to do it myself first. since i can't use poison (due to the doggies eating anything in sight, potentially including poisoned mice), i bought a bunch of old school spring loaded mouse traps. last night i baited them and put them all over the kitchen floor, expecting to face several dead mice in the morning.


my friend thinks it's because i used organic almond butter. it was a toss up between that and laughing cow spreadable cheese. it's all i had.

"them mice ain't that high-falootin'! you need to git yerself some skippy loaded with trans-fat! or better yet, some cheese-whiz!"


this is why dating in real life can be better

my friend j insisted on setting me up with her brother. she talked him up and he sounded great, so i agreed to meet him. we all went out this weekend and had a great time.

i really like him and the feeling is mutual. i'm glad she introduced us because if i had seen an online dating profile for him, i probably wouldn't have given him a chance based on the following:

smoker, republican, lives in the suburbs

and while the above things may become an issue down the road, i'm trying to not worry about it right now. because there are so many other things that i like about him. and it's all about give and take, right?

except for the smoking thing.. he'll need to be willing to quit for me if it gets serious.


when the cat is away..

or in my case, when the dogs are away, the mice DO play!

i am heading out of town today for a business meeting and my dogs are staying with a friend.

just right now, i found a dead mouse in the dog water bowl and not 2 minutes later another one scampered across my floor and is hiding behind my snowboard.

i actually screeched and tried to jump on a chair.

time to call the exterminator, i think.


a little embarrassed

so i was walking into the bathroom at the corner bakery today while another person was walking out. a person that looked like a man. so much in fact, that i did a double take and tried to get a glimpse of the bathroom door to make sure that i was actually in the ladies room.

the person caught me looking at them with a confused look and said

"it's ok, i just have a haircut."

i'm sure if i had had time to scrutinize them a little more closely, i would have realized that she was a woman. but i wasn't able to in the split second i had. i felt a little embarrassed for the woman. the quickness in replying to my look of confusion leads me to believe that this isn't the first time it's happened to her.


fat man! little jacket!

i was out at fados last night. it wasn't too crowded and so i left my coat with my friends coats on some bar stools. no biggie.

about 30 min later i went over to get my coat and it wasn't there.

there was, however, a men's leather coat slung over the back of the chair.

i figured that someone had grabbed mine by mistake and would come back to claim theirs and return mine. that didn't happen.

i waited until they were shooing us out of the bar and breaking it down. no one came to claim the jacket.

so i wore it home. it was cold.

i don't want this jacket and i rather liked the one i had lost. i put an ad on craigslist, so maybe i will eventually find it.

the leather one looks like a tent on me, so i can only imagine what my coat must have looked like on the guy that tried to wear it home.

i just hope it's not split up the back!


a new me

so my dear friend seth has decided to take it upon himself to be my personal trainer. which is AWESOME. we've been meeting at the gym every morning and doing the workouts that he planned for me. i'm not too concerned that they're from men's health - i'm just glad that i have someone holding me accountable for working out!

it's nice. i like working out. especially with a friend. i've always gone to the gym, but i think that i haven't really been working out to my full potential. these work outs are pushing me and i'm hoping that i'll actually see results. i'm so sore now that i can barely get out of my chair!

i have a ton of motivation this time. not only is my brothers wedding in 6 months, but in the past few weeks i have heard from 2 friends that guys they know have told them that i would be really hot if i lost a few pounds. it was hard for me to hear, but also necessary and motivating. one of those things that i always knew but never wanted to acknowledge that other people knew as well.

so that's been consuming a lot of my time. i've also been watching a lot of movies lately since they're free from the library and i don't have cable. oh, and i've decided not to say anything to my friend. the more i think about it, the more i feel like it would be a bad idea. i think i know the answer and i don't want to risk anything. being friends is good for me right now. i have other things to concentrate on.


risking the friendship

i have this very special person in my life. from the moment we met, i just had this feeling that he was the one for me. we have amazing conversation and laugh so much and we're attracted to each other and he fascinates me and i just think the world of him. although he has his flaws, i think he's just about the greatest guy ever.

we never really dated per se, but we've always enjoyed a um.. special friendship.

i have spent months assuring him that i was cool with said special friendship and that he need not worry, as i would not confuse our special friendship with love or anything of that nature. i can separate and won't be attached. i said this partly because i thought it was true at the time and partly because i knew that's what i would have to say to get what i wanted. which i am apparently good at and sometimes bites me in the ass.

when this friendship started, he was not ready for a relationship and i didn't think i was either. but now time has passed and we've both talked about how we're ready for a relationship, but the topic of having one with each other has never come up.

of course it's all i think about.

so the other night he came over and in the morning he told me he wanted something to happen but that he shouldn't. normally i would be like, ah ha, a challenge and something would definitely happen. but this time i just let it go.

and i got the feeling that he wasn't expecting me to do that. and i also got the feeling that he wanted me to ask him why we aren't dating. and i also got the feeling that he hasn't made a move because he doesn't think i want it, even though i want it more than anything.

guys are pretty literal, and i am pretty convincing. and i'm also pretty sure that he can't read my mind.

but i kept quiet even though it was a good opportunity to have a discussion. i'm known for my blunt honesty and wanting everything to be clear to all parties involved, so i'm sure it wouldn't have been a shock to him.

so after mulling it over a bit, i've decided i'm going to say something when i get the opportunity. although i don't have a particularly good track record with this kind of situation (since i am apparently a very cool, super cute girl deemed undateable for some god forsaken reason by my guy friends*), i also know that i will drive myself crazy if i don't know the truth.

worst case scenario - i am totally embarrassed and hurt for awhile, but i get over it and we remain platonic friends.

best case scenario - we end up dating and get married and have lots of adorable babies.

i think i know in my heart which way it will turn out, but since i am a glutton for punishment as well as an eternal optimist, i need to find out for sure. then the healing process can begin and i can be emotionally available for the next one that comes along.

or maybe end up happily ever after.

*I will maintain that it has to have something to do with the extra 30 pounds i'm carrying around - because that is easier than thinking that i might have some sort of personality flaw.


some good deals

thought you guys might be interested in some of the good deals i've found lately..

body shop clearance - lots of yummy smelling body washes and soaps and stuff for only $3!

i had my cart stacked and then decided that even though it was a GOOD deal, i'm trying to save money and shouldn't spend $30 on body wash. but if you have the money to spend, you're getting a bargain! there's even a code for free shipping when you spend $30 - WEL319.

Rebates - print the form online, buy the product, and submit the form for your money back!
purell hand sanitizer
veet rasera bladeless razor kit
dawn direct foam dishsoap
meaty bone dog biscuits

free goodie bag worth $25 when you spend $15 in colgate palmolive products.


having no cable is harder than i thought

not that i really miss any particular programs.. but i miss having the background noise of the tv on when i'm cooking or working or cleaning.

i have my music on instead, but it's not the same. i feel like i have all this free time now.. and i'm not sure what to do with it.


not your university library

i went and got a public library card today. for some reason, the library option just never appealed to me. i thought they would have old, outdated books - nothing i would want to read, for sure. i thought it was a place for poor people to get on the internet and for students to check out reference books. of course, it doesn't help that the last library i was in was my college library!

i was at my friends house and ended up borrowing a bunch of books from him. he mentioned that he had bought most of them at the library book sale.

really?? but they're new authors.. and paperback.. and the library never has NEW stuff in it!?

no way, he replied, the library has a ton of stuff. they even have dvds and cds!*

so i went to the library closest to my house today and found a couple of books and a movie.

i still can't get over that this is all available for FREE. and i can keep them for 3 weeks. and they have branches everywhere!

now i think i can cancel netflix and save another couple hundred dollars per year. not to mention all the money i'm going to save from not buying books. i never read them again anyway.

*and magazines, i found out today!

cutting out the extra

2008 is going to be a busy year. between my regular job and my soon-to-get second job and 2 MBA classes that meet 3 nights a week and 2 puppies to take care of and the 20 pounds i need to lose, i don't think i'll have a whole lot of extra time.

which is why i decided to see if i could survive without owning cable this year. i'm on the phone with comcast right now waiting to cancel it.

my cable is costing me $75 a month (with HD and DVR and all the good necessities). and i don't really watch it that much - it's background noise, really.

so by canceling, i will save $900 this year. it's a start.

i don't think i will be too deprived. i still have netflix and my playstation and the internet (which my company pays for). i think that you can watch most shows online now anyway - and my friend seth is going to hook up my computer to my tv so that i can watch it on the big screen.

i will be giving up a little bit of convenience, but i think i'll be ok and actually turn out enlightened from the process.


2008 by the numbers

happy new year! let's take stock of what i have already accomplished in the first 12 hours of 2008.

drinks consumed: 5
other substances consumed: 2
people kissed: 4
girls kissed: 2
ass slapped: 12
beligerent drunk fights attempted to break up: 3
cute snoring boys i woke up next to: 1
fast food cravings thwarted by my inner skinny bitch: 4
hours slept: 6

i think i'm off to a good start