17 days is a long time/nostalgia

j and i have been very successful in the 17 day diet thus far.  i've lost 7 pounds and j has lost 12 pounds.  we haven't cheated either, which is an amazing feat in itself.  we are on day 9 and feel like this first phase will never end.  it's not that we're hungry, it's that we're BORED.  we can't use food as entertainment like we used to do and that makes me a little cranky.  of course, using food for entertainment is probably why we're on this diet in the first place, which makes me crankier.

however, this is the easiest diet that i have ever been on and i believe it's solely because j is doing it with me.  amazing how much that makes a difference.

when i first started blogging, SIX years ago, it was kind of the new trend.  i followed a lot of other blogs that were just starting out and i enjoyed "connecting" with so many strangers who seemed to be paralleling my life.  then i got my new job where i worked from home (and didn't have to pretend to work all day) and facebook became the new trend and i stopped blogging regularly and reading others blogs.

for some reason this weekend, i decided to catch up with some of my old favorites.  and by "catch up", i mean, "read the past 4 years of archives in chronological order on She Just Walks Around With It." right now i'm in the middle of 2006 and it's weird how reading through these posts is causing me to remember where i was in my life when i read them the first time.  i have always felt a weird connection to the author of that blog, kristy.  we seemed to be going through the same things at the same time and have a similar way of expressing ourselves.  we were both single girls living in a city, trying to lose weight, drinking wine, going on crazy dates.  and then we got married and our lives changed and now she has a baby and one on the way and that's what i'm working towards as well.  and it just kind of hit me how crazy it is that SO much can happen in such a relatively short time and where does that time go?  and although i am so happy with my life, i got very nostalgic about that time  when i was single and just..waiting for the rest of my life to happen. 

i really feel like these last 2 years have gone by in an absolute blur. and i've had some major changes, but i feel like i'm stuck in some sort of weird limbo that i won't get out of anytime soon.  like there are still a few things i need to do before my "new life" really starts.. and right now i'm stuck between the past and the future and not really able to enjoy being in the present.  and i know that when i read this 3 years from now and all of the things i'm currently obsessed with have finally happened, i'll wonder why i didn't allow myself to just enjoy this in-between time and LIVE MY LIFE.

so that's what i'm going to try to do in 2011.  live in the present and not worry so much about the future, because when the future finally happens, i'll wish that i had taken advantage of my life as it is right now.

omg i suck

it's been a YEAR since my last post?  sorry... this year has been so full of changes and revelations and stress that i think the thought of writing about it (after discussing it with pretty much anyone who would listen) just seemed overwhelming.  but now i realize that instead of talking to *some* people about things, i really should just be writing them down so that i can get it out without subjecting people to listening to my issues.  at least i know that you can just skim the post or skip it if you're not interested!

so.. what has been going on that is so overwhelming, you ask?  where do i begin..?   wedding.  houses.  jobs.  family drama.  friend drama. money.  self esteem. 

wedding.

j and i were married on 5/14/10!   the wedding overall was good (at least people told me they had a good time), although of course it didn't go quite the way i planned.   i'm sure i'll go into more details later - but here's a quick summary.   it snowed and had to be moved inside.  some people created a lot of drama over silly things and it stressed me out.  there were family issues (apparently not attending my wedding is a way to get back at my mom for something she didn't even do).  i didn't feel comfortable in my dress.  BUT, when it was all said and done, i married the love of my life and that's all that matters.  

houses. 

at this time last year, we had 3 houses and one of them was vacant. the vacant one was also trashed and there was no way we could rent it out in it's current condition.  our only solution was to sell the house we were living in.  my first house.  the house i loved and still have a strong attachment to.  we put it on the market in october and after 7 months, 80+ showings, and an offer that fell through, we finally found a buyer.  the day after we returned from our honeymoon (barbados!), we closed and the cutest couple ever took possession of our house.  i was so happy that they were my buyers because they are exactly the type of people i wanted living in my house.   we then moved into the quitman house, which is the one we rent to college kids (it was vacant for the summer) and started fixing up the fenton house (the one that was trashed).   lost yet?  it was insane.  we lived in 3 houses within a 3 month time span.  i don't recommend it. 

so... long story short, we spent all the money we made on the house we sold to put in new windows, appliances, floors, doors, trim, fixtures, etc into the fenton house.  which is now our home.  which i am trying to make the best of even though i would never ever have chosen to live in this house.  it is such a big stress of our lives and one that virtually none of our friends can understand.  right now everything in the house is functional, but not finished.  and it drives me BATTY!  

jobs. 

my job is actually going fantastically.  after not making my goal last year and losing out on a bunch of $$, i am ahead of my goal this year.  which is extremely helpful because j quit his job in september to go back to school.  it a decision that both of us are on board with and one that had to be made.  he's getting his BS in construction management, so i know that it will be very beneficial to our future.  it's just another financial stressor that we have to deal with in order to set us up for success.  being the main breadwinner though... that's a lot of pressure. 

drama.

i don't really want to get into the friend or family drama on this blog because i don't want to add fuel to the fire should these people read this.  let's just say that i am focusing on surrounding myself with individuals that act as positive forces in my life and am disassociating with those who i think are bringing negative energy into my life.   

money. 

one income. too much debt.  2 mortgages. it all piles up and we're having to make some serious choices.  we are cutting back the extras like crazy and it's really hard on my ego to have to admit that even though i make decent money and have an engineering degree and my MBA, i still am not on par financially with my peers due to choices i made, some which were beyond my control. hopefully my frugal forays will be entertaining and useful to you all when i blog about them later. 

and lastly...self esteem. 

i have always struggled with my weight.. but even though i've always been a little chubby, i've been comfortable enough in my skin to not let it be too much of an issue.  that has changed.  i have gained so much weight since the wedding that not only do my clothes not fit, but i don't even recognize myself anymore in pictures.  it's bad.  i don't feel like i went crazy with the fast food or anything (because that's really not my style).. it's just the little things that ad up.  having to eat out because we don't have a kitchen in the house we're fixing up.  not exercising because i have to tile a floor.  being stressed in general.  the past 2 months we've been eating really healthy and i've been getting back into an exercise routine, but the scale hasn't budged. it hasn't gone *up* anymore, which is a good thing, but it hasn't gone down either.  my normal habits at the gym just won't cut it anymore.  the motivation is *almost* there and this will be something that i will try to blog about more so it keeps me accountable. 

so there you go. my 2010 summary.  

my goal for the rest of 2010 is to post at LEAST every other day in december so that i can get back into blogging.  it's good for me.

2009!

i am very excited about 2009. i have a fantastic boyfriend who will most likely propose this year. i love my job and am getting better and better at it every day. i will finally graduate with my MBA in december.

also, i plan to get the bulk of my debt paid off this year while j and i live on one salary. i'm excited about getting the debt gone and finally be able to save some money. this will be a huge weight off my shoulders. j and i are trying to plan out our financial future and finally make our money start working for us!

we also found the reward that we're going to do if both j and i meet our goals. he needs to stop smoking, and i need to lose 20 pounds. our friends are planning a trip to mexico at the end of april, so we decided that would be our reward! that gives us 5 months to meet our goal - and since we both really want this trip, we can encourage each other and have something to look forward to!

below is the plan on how i'm going to meet my goal. i only need to lose 20 pounds to meet my challenge goal, but if i'm able to stick to my plan, i might be able to lose 35-40. if i lost 40 pounds, i would be at a very comfortable weight and a size 8. 55 pounds would put me at my highschool weight and a size 6 - but i am not even going to think about that until i reach my first goal.

i plan to start out slow and add more each month. i also plan to allow myself one cheat day per week, where i can eat whatever i want. otherwise i will have visions of french fries and pizza dancing through my head.

January:
Goal: Lose 5 pounds
- play my wii fit* for at least 2 1/2 hours a week (can be 1 hour 2 days and 30 min 1 day, or 30 min every day - however i can fit into my schedule)
- phase out restuarant eating to <2 times a week (i'm sad to say its at about 3-5 times now)
- eat at least 1 fruit/veggie per day (not including things in recipes - this is extra)
- order water/tea instead of diet soda at restaurants

February:
Goal: Lose 7 pounds (12 pounds total)
- add in another hour of other exercise per week (3 1/2 hours)
- do some sort of activity at least 5 days a week
- find healthy receipes and focus on finding things both j and i like and will eat - collect 10 recipes that we can rotate through the month
- eat at least 2 extra fruit/veggies per day
- phase out restaurant eating to <1 time per week

March:
Goal: Lose 8 pounds (20 pounds total)
- add in another 15 minutes of exercise, for a total of 60 minutes, 5 days a week
- add in more whole grains and try to cut out white bread

April:
Goal: Lose 5 pounds (25 pounds total)
- work on maintaining current lifestyle
- start attending weekly yoga classes

if i am having a hard time meeting my goals, i will cut out alcohol and see if that helps. i don't drink too much right now - maybe a glass or two of wine 2-3 times a week. but if i'm not seeing a loss, i can cut it down a bit.

hopefully i will have the motivation i need this year! i have a trip riding on it, and i won't want to let down j if he is able to meet his challenge and i can't - because then neither of us can go on the trip!

*the hard activities - the fun balance games are extra