about me

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Denver, Colorado, United States
i'm 33. i live with my husband, baby daughter 2 dogs and 1 kitty. i'm a chemical engineer with an MBA and work in technical sales. i tend to bite off more than i *think* i can chew and end up with a full bulging mouth for awhile before i can finally swallow. i thrive in chaos, but strive for order.


new site

for some reason, i cannot open my blogger dashboard in firefox.  so i transferred this blog to wordpress.  since i'm too cheap to pay for the automatic redirection, you'll have to click on the link yourself.


see you over there!


thrifty finds 1-15-12

my local savers was having 50% off for the holiday this weekend, so i ventured down there to look at baby clothes.  $57 later I left with:
6 pairs of jeans for charlotte (gap, old navy, childrens place)
3 pairs of jeans for mommy (old navy, levi)
2 sweatshirts and a sweater for charlotte

3 onsies

2 pairs PJs and one skirt

shoes for mommy
3 sweaters for mommy
And the outfit she's wearing today!



i am now a full time working mom with a house husband. except i work from home, so this is a more difficult task than i thought it would be. when i was working from home before the baby, i had a pretty good routine. i could work at my kitchen table to whatever background noise i wanted - tv (rarely, but sometimes), music, or silence. if i needed to take a little break, i would throw in a load of laundry or unload the dishwasher or vacuum the endless tufts of pet hair. then when i was on maternity leave, instead of taking care of my clients, i was taking care of charlotte. and i would basically do chores around the house in the same way.

since our house is so cramped cozy, i don't have a place where i can shut the door and work. thus i am subjected to whatever background noise jared has, which is usually the tv or the baby crying. of course this lends itself to distraction.

another thing i'm adjusting to is losing control over the way the house looks. while i love that jared is making a good effort to keep it clean, the way he does things is not the way i would and it's hard for me to accept. for example, i would rather the whole house look picked up, rather than the kitchen spotless and the bedroom a disaster. however, jared would rather have one area appear perfect and close the door to the other areas. another example, i'm ok with having a folded dishtowel, blender, or neat stack of bills on the kitchen counter, while jared wants absolutely nothing there. i keep telling myself to just let him do things his way because it's his job now but that is SO hard.

if i was gone all day, i think i could handle it better. but since i'm home, i am watching how he's doing things and notice all the differences. how much longer it takes him to do something. putting something away in the wrong place. ignoring the dryer when it buzzes. taking too many tv breaks. it is a herculean effort for me to bite my tongue and focus on work.

i do have an office space in a building that i use occasionally and i have been spending more time there. but i don't like that as much either. it's nice to take a 10 minute break and snuggle with charlotte, and it's better for me to be home every 3-4 hours so i can feed her and we don't go through my extra milk supply too quickly.

i know that it's silly to complain about these things because i'm sure most people would LOVE to be able to work from home and have their husband do the housework. i just need to adjust my thinking and let myself let things go and i'm sure i will be much happier.


birth plan?!?! bwhahahhaa!

our little daughter is finally here!  charlotte was born on 11-02-2011 at 5:24pm.  7lb 10oz, 20 3/4"  isn't she precious?

she is such a good baby, which is nice since her birth did not go quite as planned.

on 11-1, i went to my regular doctors appointment.  my blood pressure was high and i had protein in my urine.  they sent me straight to L&D to be monitored because of preeclampsia.   when my blood pressure refused to go down, they suggested induction. i refused at first, and then was basically told that i didn't really have a choice, due to the risk of organ failure, seizure, and death.  at 4:30pm, they gave me misoprostol, a drug that helps ripen the cervix.  i got another dose at 8:30, and then the contractions started.  they weren't too bad, but they definitely kept me awake all night.   the next morning, i was only 2 cm dilated and so they decided to start the pitocin.

unfortunately, pitocin makes your contractions incredibly strong and painful - your body doesn't have a chance to gradually get used to them.  because of this, i decided i needed an epidural.  unfortunately, i am one of those rare people that doesn't respond to epidurals, which i figured out after getting 2 of them.   at this point, i'm in extreme pain with no pain relief and i feel the urge to push.  it's more than an urge - it's an involuntary reaction.  oh and did i mention that she's posterior, so i'm having back labor?  so i'm pushing and there's no progress.  apparently she's stuck up there - every time she moves forward a little, she slips back in.  the nurse tries to reposition her, but nothing is working.  then they doubled my dose of pitocin to try to make the contractions even stronger.  after 2 hours of pushing, i couldn't take it anymore.  i begged the doctor to shut off the pitocin and told them i was ready for a c-section. 

once that decision was made, things happened rather quickly and charlotte was born an hour later.  while i was incredibly disappointed that the birth didn't go as planned, i made peace with it and was glad that the medical intervention was available since i needed it.

luckily, i have recovered quickly from the surgery.  i think it is because i had the placenta encapsulated and have been taking them daily.  nursing has been very easy, which is a relief because i thought i would have problems.  i've also already lost all the baby weight (50 pounds in one week!! most of it was water retention), so that's been nice to not have to worry about.

and most importantly, charlotte is very healthy and the most perfect baby ever!!  :)


the finish line is in sight

on monday i will be 37 weeks pregnant.  that is considered FULL TERM, which means that i could technically have a baby a week from now.  it still blows my mind, even though i've had 9 months to prepare.

the pregnancy has been ok for me.  the first 17 weeks were rough because i was SO sick all the time.  then when i hit the 2nd trimester, i started to feel better but had to contend with nasty seasonal allergies and sinus infections.  july and august were actually pretty good - i had energy and no adverse symptoms.  but ever since then i have just been more and more uncomfortable.  i'm have a LOT of swelling in my hands, feet, and calves.  the swelling in my hands, combined with carpal tunnel, has made 4 fingers on each hand completely numb.  it gets worse at night and in the morning i can't even make a fist.  then they loosen up a bit during the day, but i still have no feeling.   add that to the fact that my belly is now huge, and the simplest things have become crazy hard to do.  like putting on socks and shoes.  getting off the couch.  picking things up from the floor. 

j and i took a 6 week natural childbirth class that has really helped prepare us, and has lessened my anxiety about birth quite a bit.  i'm actually looking forward to it - because i know that once i get through it i will finally be able to hold my baby!  i've started to not tell people i'm planning a natural, unmedicated birth because they look at me like i have 3 heads and start asking me why i don't believe in modern medicine.    it is too much to ask for people to respect your decision?  I don't get all over their case for being induced or getting an epidural, because i believe that each woman has to do what is right for them.  it would be nice if others would extend that same courtesy..


1st anniversary weekend

to celebrate our first wedding anniversary, jared and i decided to take a trip to san diego.  we chose san diego for several reasons.  #1) we had $300 american airlines vouchers from when we gave up our seats for our honeymoon last year, and the only direct flight for <$300 from denver on american airlines was to los angeles.  #2) we wanted to go somewhere warm and we have good friends in san diego.

it was a good decision.  however, it turns out that jared and i cannot travel anywhere without scores of drama related to the trip.  like when we went to napa for a friends wedding and experienced the following:
*a flat tire
*a broken GPS which resulted in calling the hotel for directions from san francisco and trying to get there in rush hour
*a fall that led to a *very* swollen and sprained ankle
*a cell phone left in the rental car on the way home

although so many things went wrong, that trip to napa was very fun and we had a blast!

this trip was similar.
it started out thursday night.  our flight was at 7:30.  jared got home from work and we left to take the dogs to our friends around 4:45.  then we had to drop off jareds homework assignment and we headed to the airport around 5:30.  we hit very heavy traffic and when we got to the parking lot, we were in a hurry to get on the shuttle.  i left my phone in the car and they had to send another shuttle to bring it to me.  by the time i get my phone, we had about 1 hour until our flight left.  we head to security, but that security checkpoint is closed.  we have to go to the one clear on the other side of the airport, which of course has a long line.  it takes us 35 minutes to get through security.  we rush to the gate and have a few minutes to spare before they start boarding.  phew.

right before take off, i turn to jared and ask "you locked the door, right?".  he couldn't answer me.. normally, i would have just assumed that everything was fine, but for SOME REASON i decided to text my friend stacey who lives close to us and have her go double check.  we were taking off, but i had this urge to text her right then and not when we got to LA.   once we landed, i had a text from her "call me when you land, it's important".

i called her and found out that our front door was WIDE OPEN.  apparently, in the rush to get out of the house and round the dogs up into the car, jared had forgotten to go back and SHUT THE DOOR.  i had a pit in my stomach as i asked her if everything had looked ok.  to my relief, she said that it didn't look like we had been robbed and she turned on a light and deadbolted the door for us.  thank god for friends like her.

after landing in LA and going through a seemingly endless amount of shuttles, we finally get to the rental car place.   then after missing a turn and driving through south central LA, we finally get to our hotel, which was paid for with hotel points.  it was nice and we crashed.

the next day was fairly uneventful, disaster wise.  we enjoyed a nice drive down the pacific coast highway, chilled on a beach for an hour or so, and finally made it down to our friends house in san diego.

saturday, our friends took us sightseeing in la jolla.  we were at the la jolla cove, walking on the rocks and looking at the tide pools.   my first mistake was that i was wearing my chucks, which don't have a lot of traction, so even though i was being super careful, i stepped on a slimy patch on the rock and lost my balance.  everything went into slow motion.  my butt hit the rock and i thought i was safe.. but then i slowly slid backwards into the tide pool.  i knew it was coming and there was nothing i could do except moan "nooooooooo!" as i was going in.    this was quite entertaining for jared and my friends, as you can imagine.  i got up, soaking wet, and had no choice but to see the humor in the situation and laugh with everyone else.

saturday night we checked into our super fancy hotel (our splurge because the rest of the trip was so cheap).  it didn't disappoint.  if you are ever in san diego and want to drop $300 a night on a hotel, i highly recommend the Hotel Solamar in the gaslamp district. we got one of the spa rooms and it was amazing.  for dinner we decided that we wanted to take advantage of being near the water and nothing sounded better than a big bucket of crab legs.   the hotel clerk recommend this place called the crab hut, about 6 blocks from our hotel.  while walking there, my sandals that i hadn't properly broken in yet for the summer, start cutting me so bad that i can barely walk.  i had to stop in the cvs and buy the only pair of flip flops that didn't rub on the cuts - and they were men's.  we get to the crab hut, but we can't get in, because there has been a shooting next door at the marriot and everything is taped off with crime scene tape. 

so we get directions to another seafood place, which is about 8 blocks in the opposite direction.  this place turns out to be more of a fast food fish place where everything is fried.  not really our idea of a nice romantic anniversary dinner.  we then remember that jared's mom suggested a place called "Anthony's Fish Grotto", which is right on the water.  she raved about it and said it was the best seafood she's ever had.  we look it up on google and it has a good rating, so we decide to check it out.  we should have paid more attention to the look the hotel front desk clerk gave us when we mentioned it. 

we drive to anthony's and walk inside. the whole way there i was reading some of the reviews on yelp and it sounded like the atmosphere was not going to be quite what we were looking for.  it was going to be another blue parrot*.  when we're going to our table, jared was focused on the great view of the water from the restaurant.  i was focused on the crowded, noisy dining room filled with tourists, families, and fried food - and the decor that hasn't been updated since 1984.  we sit down, and look at the menu.  NOTHING looks good and the prices seem pretty expensive for atmosphere and type of food.  we order water and look at the menu some more.  i look up at jared with pleading eyes.. and i ask him if we can leave.  we hightail it out of there, even though by this time it's 8pm and we are starving and tired.

we head back to our hotel and walk to this place we had noticed earlier.  it was called lou & mickey's and it was a steakhouse/seafood place with a great atmosphere and prices similar to what we would have paid at anthony's.   this ends up to be a very good decision.  we have a private table and are able to enjoy a very nice meal and good conversation, which is how a 1st anniversary dinner should be.

it is now sunday and i'm typing this while jared is still sleeping.  today is our last day - our flight is at 8:30 tonight.  we plan to spend the rest of the morning in san diego and then drive up to LA and check out hollywood and some tourist things before we leave.  hopefully it will be fun, but uneventful.. although knowing us, i'm sure something funny will happen that will give us another good story.. which is pretty much the way things always go with our relationship and marriage.  and i don't think i'd have it any other way. 

*when jared and i first started dating, he would RAVE about this italian restaurant called the blue parrot.  he took me there on a date, and i was less than impressed.  the atmosphere was like a cafeteria in a nursing home and the food wasn't that good (although it wasn't horrible).  it was then when jared started understanding the importance of ambiance and atmosphere when dining out for a special occasion. 


utterly unmotivated

these past few months have been weird. i have absolutely no motivation for the following:
  • work
  • cleaning the house
  • working on house projects
  • exercising
  • being with friends
  • eating
  • shopping
  • crafts
  • computer games
  • internet surfing
  • watching tv or movies
  • reading
  • taking dogs to park
i just don't want to do anything.  nothing fun, nothing satisfying, nothing indulgent. but i also don't want to just lay around on the couch or sleep - that makes me feel even worse because the hours just go by so slowly.  i have never experienced this before for long periods of time.  i am normally SOO busy that my days fly by and i can't fit everything that i want to do into them.  now it's just the opposite.

i attribute most of it to being nauseous and/or tired all day, but i'm starting to wonder if some sort of depression is creeping up on me.  i don't *think* i feel depressed.. but who knows. i'm going through so many changes with the pregnancy, maybe this is one of them?