what's next, doggie diets?

j and i were doing a little shopping yesterday when we came across these.

Portioned controlled snack pouches for dogs.

Seriously? Are we counting calories for our dogs now? Don't we have more important things to worry about? Next thing you'll be hearing about is the Canine Obesity Epidemic. Just what we need - another reason for the rest of the world to laugh at us.

just when you thought you've heard everything

Woman sits on boyfriends toilet for 2 years.

creepy craigslist personal ads

just a few i came across today.. are these people for real??

these are from the M4W section in denver.

Have You Ever Been To An XXX Theater? - 51
This has been a fantasy of mine and I think it would be pleasant to meet a lady who was comfortable enough with the subject to actually look at this as an enjoyable experience. Sorry is that offends you but I think one should do everything in life that intrigues us.What do you think?
I've been told that I am handsome, distinguished, communicative and sometimes erotic. Let's do this if you are the woman who is going to go with me.

eew. on a FIRST date? hmm.. wants to go to an XXX movie theater (do those even still exist?) yet is only "sometimes" erotic.


420-Booze-Food-Nice Place, all I need is you - 35
Let' meet at my place
Sex will be optional and up to you
I am a nice white guy
Divorced, no kids, sexy

apparently all i need are no standards.

Personal Priorities
I need 1 woman to love.

well, i guess he could be asking for 2 women.

WTG? - 43
This cant be that hard. Iam looking to meet outgoing, headstrong women that dont have ex-issues. Will send pic for pic. I could write a book on what i like in women, but just no time to be online.

WTF is WTG? guess who he just broke up with. a shy, passive woman with "ex-issues".

Married and lonely for the holidays - m4w - 40
I AM A MARRIED BLACK MALE with children. My marriege has been over for a long time. Why do I stay? because I have kids that I can not leave and financial reasons. Therefore I am looking for a women that can relate and may be in the same situation. I want to be with someone that needs intimacy, and a great listner. Also note, I give great hugs and massages. I consider my self a helpless romantic. I love to travel, eat good food, and drink Red Wine. Also note, I am not looking for a one night encounter. However I do LOVE TO EAT PUSSY so if you want to get licked right get with me. PLEASE NOTE I AM NOT DESPERATE I DON'T WANT TO JOIN SOMEONE'S CHAT LINE OR A DATING SITE SO PLEASE DON'T EMAIL THOSE LINKS. NO GAMES PLEASE.

"may be" his "marriege" has been over because his wife disagrees that he "licks right".  please note that he is not desperate.

man seeking much older women - 29
im 29 6ft 200lbs. very attractive(really), nice body. Im not a freak. Just a normal sensitive, funny, laidback guy. I really want to please a older women between 50-70. Ill lick you, rub you, ad have sex with you. Just a one or three time thing. Nothing serious, just fun. Come on I know women still want it at that age. Dont be shy drop me a line. Maybe we can have a nooner today!

oh no, you're not a freak (really).

and this is why i no longer look for dates on craigslist.

fired

i had never been fired before in my life, until today.

last night i got cut from my shift because i had a "bad attitude". i don't disagree with them, but i talked to the manager about the reasons behind my attitude (we were overstaffed and everyone was bored and not making any money. plus i felt that 2 people were being snappy with me and treating me unfairly - one of those being his wife). i told him that i was stressed with school at the moment and i would change my attitude and hang in there until we got busy again. problem solved, so i thought.

then i get a phone call today saying that he talked it over with his wife and they think it's best to terminate our relationship. WTF? i can't have ONE bad day? ONE bad day which i apologized for? it seems like they were looking for a reason to get rid of me and i'm not sure why. i have never had any other complaints and am one of the best servers they have. the only thing i can think of is that i don't quite fit in with the other staff (all 20 yr old college students that are stoned on the job half the time and like to goof around a lot). i also wasn't afraid to speak my mind when i didn't think things were going well and i don't think they liked that.

i am a little shocked but i'm trying to stay positive and hope it is for the better.

don't sit in my section

while doing some research for my final project this semester, i came across this disturbing, albeit entertaining blog entry. be sure to read the comments and her replies.

crazy restaurant customer

talk about having some control issues.

lady, here's the thing. you're expecting 5 star service from a 2 star restaurant. you think that just because most people like something, doesn't mean the server should assume YOU like it, and that the server is wasting their time and being inefficient. i think it's more inefficient to not make assumptions about the 99% of customers that would like a refill of the same drink they've been drinking.

and seriously, WHO orders 4 sides of ranch? if you were rude to me for not bringing you enough, i would probably bring out a soup bowl full and sweetly say "is this enough ranch for you ma'am?" so that you would at least look stupid in front of the other customers.

you also state that you don't care about the servers name or the specials. if you so obviously don't care about the server and the restaurant, then why should the server care about you? studies have shown that introducing yourself to the table and telling customers about the specials actually increases the tip percentage.

if i did everything you suggested, i would risk pissing off 99% of my other customers.

if you're so picky about everything, maybe you should stay home and cook your own goddamned food.

a mixed bag

i'm in salt lake city for work right now. utah. what an interesting state. if i didn't think a city run by a cult church was such a bad idea, i would love to live here.

pro: gorgeous scenery, great weather
con: everything is centered around a temple

pro: light traffic, wide streets
con: street naming convention drives me nuts. south 500 west what?

pro: lots of hot, young guys
con: they're already married with 3 kids

pro: friendly people
con: wholesome mormons

pro: cool downtown area, clean city
con: hard to find a happy hour

pro: microbreweries
con: state records my name if i order a drink. how weird is THAT?

pro: ski areas within 30 minutes of the city
con: hmmm.. no con for this one.

summary:
salt lake - an oasis if you're religious, rasing a family, and like the outdoors.
not ideal for singles, drinkers, and other sinners.

why does every guy in colorado snore?

is it the climate?

or is that why they're single?

so i've met an aboslutely so-adorable-i-almost-can't-stand-it boy that i like a lot. this one i met during every day circumstances - not through the internet or at a bar per my usual routinue. this comes with a whole different set of rules.

i'm trying to let him make the first moves because he's younger than me and i can be a little aggressive enthusiastic sometimes. don't want to scare the poor kid. and the first few weeks are the best anyway, so why rush it? i need to just sit back and have a little patience and enjoy. which paid off last night.

i was getting a little jaded about relationships for awhile. but now i remember how great dating is when you find someone you like and they actually like you back. it reminds me why there are millions of people out there in relationships.

ding ding ding.

and for now, i think the snoring is cute.

emotional rollercoaster

dating. when it's good it's fantastic, and when it's bad it's awful.

i liked this guy. he liked me. then i wasn't sure. and he wasn't sure. and we decided to just be friends, but maybe date down the road - play it by ear. and we're friends and all is good. so why do i have a pit in my stomach when i find out (not from him) that's he's in a relationship now. i shouldn't care. why do i care? did i like him more than i thought i did? too late now.

at the same time, i have a total crush on another guy. and i think he likes me back. it's at that stage right now where we've hung out a couple of times, nothing has been defined, but something is definitely there. i have the best time when i'm with him and when i'm not with him i think about him and all i can think about is when i'm going to see him again, which drives me nuts because i can't concentrate on anything else. i hate dwelling.

and i want off before i hurl.

Maple syruping/sugar bushing (including carrying buckets, carrying wood)?

so i use this program called fitday. it's great for logging food and activities and seeing various reports such as if you've met your vitamin daily requirements, what percentage of fat is in your diet, etc.

some things about this program make me wonder who on earth created it. on several occasions, i have searched for a seemingly normal food or activity and haven't been able to find it. however, it's not an issue of the database being too small - it's actually very extensive, because it is populated with food that i've never heard of and activities that a normal person will probably never do in their lifetime.

for example. snowboarding or the elliptical trainer are not listed activities, but the following are:

Maple syruping/sugar bushing (including carrying buckets, carrying wood) - what did you do this weekend kt? oh, si and i went maple syruping - it was a blast! nothing like making your own syrup over a campfire. mmm mmm!
Unicycling - for all the clowns that are trying to lose a few pounds
Slimnastics - must be a fad exercise from before my time.
Digging worms, with shovel - and this is different from plain digging?
Caulking, chinking log cabin - sorry, i can't make it to the party this weekend, i'll be chinking my log cabin!
Digging sandbox - again, different from regular digging, how?
Furriery - i don't even know what the hell this is.
Sitting on toilet - because i'm sure the extra 2 minutes of "exertion" burns WAY more calories than "sitting, general"
Basketball, wheelchair - i'm all about equal rights for disabled people.. but it's not like there's an entry for basic wheelchair driving. do people in wheelchairs only play basketball?
Wallyball, general - a new sport played by the minimum wage earners, involving a smiley face ball and $1.57 stick?

the food is just as bad. whoever created this must be from latin america because there are a ton of dishes puerto rican and mexican style, mostly with ingredients i've never heard of and don't really want to try.

and it's not consistent. you can't find plain ranch dressing, only kraft brand. no regular vanilla ice cream, instead you get "ice cream, flavors other than chocolate". i'd say there was a difference between plain vanilla and say, chocolate chip cookie dough.. but on fitday all ice cream is created equal, unless it's chocolate!
search for "coffee" and get 7 pages of results, ranging from irish coffee to cuban coffee to coffeecake to coffee, regular, with cereal.

it is just not organized in a way that makes sense to me. the potential for it to be an amazing resource, with a database of all restaurant and branded food is incredible! but i guess you get what you pay for..

tinkle tinkle

while in the restroom at work (yes, i know, i've broken my 2 ground rules. whatever), i was startled to hear the women in the stall next to me start talking really loudly.

was she talking to me?

wait. was she talking on a cell phone. while peeing???

yes. yes she was.

and that means that the person she was talking to could hear me doing my biznes. since this was a restroom, and not a phone booth, i didn't feel particulary bad or embarrassed, but i was a bit taken aback. especially since it's a small bathroom with only 3 stalls in a small office building. not like it was at a bar or something, you know?

then i hear her say "oh that? i'm in a public restroom"

i would have told them i was near a serenity fountain.

but then the flush would have probably given it away.