ex marks the spot

j was talking about his ex last night. i usually have the mindset that ex's are ex's for a reason, and so i don't get bent out of shape when a current boyfriend talks about them. but something last night hit a nerve. maybe because we're getting so serious.. maybe because it's that time of the month. i have no idea.. but i was bothered because it bothered me.

this prompted me to reflect on past relationships. thinking about good times we had. wondering what they're doing in their life. do they ever wonder about me? what memories do they have?

i googled the only two significant ones to see if i could gleam any information about their lives. the one from college. my first. now married. living in boulder with his wife and 2 dogs. a perpetual graduate student. no information found on the second one. probably a good thing, but maddening to me.

i know that i wouldn't have been happy with either one of them. i should assume that j feels the same way about his and let that little reality check silence the insecurity.

run in with the ex

so i'm out on a date last night at the rio, a mexican place with margs so strong that you're only allowed to order 3 of them. total.

this is a first date - someone i met online, of course, and things are going well. we're standing at the bar, and out of the corner of my eye, i see a side profile that looks VERY familiar. it took me a minute and then i realized it was my ex. yeah, the one i was accidently married to.

i didn't know if he had seen me. i hadn't seen him since last december. i had barely talked to him since last december. the last thing i wanted to do was have to make small talk with my date standing right there.

i quickly grab our coats and my purse and whisper "let's go upstairs, quickly, i'll explain in a minute". turning my back so that the ex doesn't see my face.

we get upstairs. i apologize for being about to commit the biggest faux pas one can do on a first date. "you aren't going to believe this. that guy standing next to you at the bar was my ex boyfriend. i haven't talked to him since december. we were married, technically. so i guess he's actually my ex husband. i am so embarrassed"

my date was so cool about it. score a point for him!

while we were chatting upstairs, my ex came upstairs and looked like he was looking for someone. did he see me? he HAD to have seen me. why wasn't he coming to talk to me if he'd seen me?

on my way out, we made eye contact. i acted surpried. "oh my god, i THOUGHT that was you! how have you been?!?". he introduced me to his new friends. i asked about the family. chatted for a couple minutes. gave him a hug and left.

my date was completely unfazed. we danced the rest of the night at another bar and had a wonderful time.

maybe i'll go out with this one again.