por flavor

i was putting on some lotion the other day and my friend commented "ooh, that smells good! what flavor is it?"

"it's lotion flavored"

he gave me a puzzled look.

i sighed.. "but it's coconut scented"

i think i found the perfect man

too bad he's composed of 4 different men i know.

noise pollution

headphones.

the concept is to wear them over your ears, so that you and you alone can hear your music.

not to wear them half on your ears and half on your head so that the sleep deprived girl next to you in the middle seat can hear the beat and muffled lyrics of your crappy top 40 rap song.

while you sleep.

how to get a girl into bed

the past 10 months have been pretty interesting, dating wise. the last time i was dating mode, i was 22 and in my senior year of college. now i'm 28 and thought that dating would be a little different now that i, as well as the guys i'm dating, are older. i figured people in their late 20's/early 30's are generally established in their career, live on their own, probably own their own house or condo, and have started to accumulate nicer things. this seems to be true for women, but not the men.

i'm not even going to get into careers, roommates, owning/renting, or having furniture that looks like you picked it up from the curb at a frat house. the only thing i'm going to cover in this post is the state of your bed linens.

here are a few things i have noticed from various single-boy beds*:

-icky sheets: low threadcount, pilled, dirty, smelly, or a pattern that looks like it belongs in your grandmas bedroom. mauve floral print? not a turn-on. if you "inherited" your sheet set, bought it at walmart, or found it at a yard-sale, it's probably time to get something new.

-pillows: if you are planning to have women sleep in your bed, why on earth would you only have one pillow? especially if you are not cushy enough for her to use YOU as a pillow.

-comforters/blankets: thin, too short, grandma pattern, smelly, dirty, not warm enough. women generally are colder than men - have an extra fuzzy blanket available for her!

does the girl you're dating always want you to come over to her house? try stocking your bed with the following and see if that changes**:
- higher quality sheet set in a solid color - darker colors actually show more stains/dirt, so if you're not super tidy, go with a lighter color.
- a nice down comforter with a duvet cover that cordinates with the sheets.
- at least 2 nice comfy pillows

these are easy to find at places like bed, bath, and beyond or online at overstock.com or amazon.com, and don't have to be expensive. you could get a decent set-up for under $250.

and for the love of god, wash your sheets once in awhile!

*please don't infer that i have slept with all the owners of these beds
** if it doesn't change, you probably need to do one or more of the following: get rid of an annoying roommate and/or pet, clean your place more often (esp bathroom), stock some food in the kitchen, lure her over with a nice huge tv/sound system/comfy couch.

hmm, i think i'll try this blogging thing again

it's been awhile, but i kind of have the blogging bug again.

a few quick things to get you back into my life:

- my divorce was final this week and i am still happily single
- i pierced my nose for real a couple months ago and it's fun
- i gave sonic away because burton was getting all the attention
- burton is now 8 months old, 75 pounds, and an absolute sweetheart
- i still love my new job

i'm sure that stories from the past 6 months will resurface and it will be like i never left.

per shannons request

my new, absolutely adorable, 8 week old alaskan malamute, burton.

i had my first conference call in my jammies

and it rocked.

thanks mcewen

since this is my last day at work and i have NOTHING better to do than find out which harry potter character i am..


Harry Potter Personality Quiz by Pirate Monkeys Inc.

i get more action when i dress like a boy

so i was thinking back to some of the more entertaining nights of the last few months. and they all have one thing in common. i get hit on exponentially more when i'm dressed like a boy*. example: long sleeve undershirt, tight band tshirt, cords or ripped jeans, and trendy running shoes. maybe a leather necklace thing. nothing fussy with my hair. simple, but good makeup. those are the nights i'm pretty much guaranteed some action. is it because i'm more comfortable that way? more approachable? not trying too hard? it is an awesome discovery, and gives me much more faith in guys (or at least the ones I want to associate with!).

*obviously i don't LOOK like a boy since my big ass boobs pretty much give me away.

to answer everyone's questions

since i'm super bad at responding to individual emails when i have a ton of stuff going on.

* yes, i did get the job! my last day is march 10th and i start on the 14th. my title is account executive and the company is an environmental laboratory. i will be the sales rep for the rocky mountain region, covering colorado, wyoming, new mexico, and utah. i get to work from home, the base salary is good and the commission potential is super high! my current company is sad to see me go, but they recognize what a great opportunity this is for me.

*no, i did not get my nose pierced. i really wanted to, but didn't want to risk alienating new clients before they got to know me. i lost my magnetic ones in vegas, so i might get some more just to wear out cause they're fun.

*yes, i did have fun in vegas. it rocked! i lost a lot of money, but made up for it in other ways.

*no, i have not gotten my mini or puppy yet. eta for the mini is the end of april, and the earliest i would get the puppy is probably may.

*yes, si found an apartment. he moved out last weekend. he still has some things at the house that he needs to move over. i am very happy to have the house to myself.

*yes, sonic is prickly. i hold him with a towel - but once he's used to me, i should be able to hold him without it.

umm, i think i got them all!

nuzzles

we're bonding.

should i do it for real?

i'm contemplating getting my nose pierced. right now i have a fake magnetic one. a real one will be smaller. what do you think? i'll be in vegas this weekend...

and in other news, sonic the hedgehog ended up coming home with me last night and is no doubt snoozing the day away.

and since i know you're all dying to see my new curtains. here's a picture of one of the sides i've sewn so far.

starter pet

ok. i can't get a puppy yet. not until i find out about my potential new job, and the litter is born and all that. however, i am seriously wanting a pet right now. i have always thought about getting a hedgehog - and in fact begged si to let us get one about a year ago. so i've been keeping my eyes open on craigslist for hedgehog listings and i finally found one yesterday! i'm going to go look at him this week, and hopefully we'll hit it off and i can take him home next week. this will be good for me because they require care and attention, but i can leave him in his cage all day and not feel guilty (since he'll be sleeping anyway!). so i present to you: sonic the hedgehog

just call me martha

i need to get curtains for my living room. mostly because my energy bill is over $200 and it's fucking freezing in there, but also to have a little privacy since i will be living there alone shortly.

the new color scheme for my living room is going to be chocolate brown and turquoise. because i just love that color combination - and now i can do whatever i want! so i spent saturday scouring everywhere for chocolate brown curtains. you'd think that would be an easy thing to find. well it's not.

then it dawned on me. hey, i have a sewing machine*. i can MAKE my own damn curtains! it just so happens that the first site to pop up in google when you type "how to make curtains" is a discount decorator fabric store in denver. if that's not a sign. so i went over there yesterday and spent $50 on this awesome chocolate brown velvet-type material and some turquoise/brown houndstooth material for the border and tabs. i finished one panel yesterday - and i daresay it's not half bad! of course the stitches could be straighter.. and since i've never had a sewing class, i have no idea if i made any huge errors. but who cares, it's not like i'm planning on entering a county fair anytime soon!

now i just have 5 more panels to go. anyone want to start a betting pool on how long it will take me to get fed up, scrap the project, and settle for something from bed, bath & beyond?

*si: "but, you said you wanted a sewing machine!?!?" me: "well yeah, but not as a christmas present from my BOYFRIEND!"

real fluffy puffy puppies

i've decided that i'm going to finally get a puppy! yes. a fluffy, puffy, puppy. i've wanted one for so long and si wasn't a dog person so we never had one. i really want an alaskan malamute. i've always had this type of dog growing up and they're awesome! i've had cuteness overload all day looking at puppy pictures, so i thought i'd share!

these pups are some of the now-adult dogs from the breeder i'm looking at. i know.

and here are just some of the cutest pup pictures i saw online. they're so cute i can't stand it. i just want to nuzzle them and become a sled dog racer.

update

screw having a theme for all my blog entries. this is just a random update.
***********
i'm actually going to call my new car pepe. not zippy. pepe is fun to say. and the black racing stripes are like a reverse skunk.
***********
busy weekend. drinking friday. show on saturday. met someone saturday who actually ended up already being a myspace friend and neither of us knew it. that was kind of trippy, but fun. riding sunday - beautiful weather, no traffic, good company. can't complain.
***********
decided i'm going to get an alaskan malamute puppy. they're so cute i can hardly stand it! here is the breeder i'm looking at. they'll have a litter ready in august. i'm going to see if i can find one in a shelter before then.
***********
simon is being a jackass. i might have to get a lawyer because he just tried to pull the "everything you own is now half mine" card. not sure it applies to things i got before the "marriage". irritating. he hasn't moved out yet and i fear it's going to be a few more weeks before i get my house back.
***********
i have another interview in a couple weeks. it's a 2nd interview. very excited. cross your fingers for me!

i shall call it zippy

my new car*

*which will be delivered in only 2 months, versus the 5 quoted by the dealership, thanks to my kick ass broker!

and on a more serious note..

si and i broke up a few weeks ago. on jan 12th. actually, we're doing a trial separation that will end this friday. i moved out and am staying with a friend for a few weeks. this week i need to tell him that yes, it's over and my feelings haven't changed. this is going to be very hard to do. but i know it's the right thing. he is a wonderful guy and i will always love him - we just grew apart. and i realized that i wouldn't be happy if i stayed with him, and it wouldn't be fair to him if i wasn't in the relationship 100%.

it's going to be pretty messy, logistically. we have the house.. and a bunch of joint accounts. and since we filed out taxes together last year, we're technically common law married, which means that we might have to file for divorce. i am checking into this to see if there are any loopholes.

leave it to me to have to get a divorce before i have a wedding. because that's just the way everything in my life seems to go. pitfall of being a nonconformist, i suppose.

i saw this the other day and about died laughing!

could it be just what i need?

i have an interview in 3.5 hours for a job that is the exact opposite of what i went to school for.

i didn't go out looking for this job. it just kind of fell into my lap. just part of all the cosmic things that have been happening to me lately due to the new people i've met.

i am excited and nervous. for taking a huge risk. one that will probably make my life as i know it obsolete. and one that will probably make me pretty damn happy. my nervousness lies in justifying my decision to my boss. who will no doubt be pretty unhappy to see me go. and who has been such a fantastic boss that i cringe about having to tell him i'm leaving.

and i can't help but wonder if taking this job will set into motion several new changes that should have happened awhile ago, moving me onto a completely different life path.

it's funny how once you think you have everything figured out, something happens that changes it all. and i love it. i live for those unexpected moments and surprises. predictability and stability don't excite me. i'd rather experience extremes highs and lows and adventures. at least then i have an entertaining story.

yo e-lev-EN!

you know what takes serious talent in vegas?

a) being cut off
b) being told by the craps table pit boss that you need to watch your mouth or you will be escorted out of the casino

i, of course, accomplished both of those on new years eve. because i'm that good*.

and, if you are going to reply to the pit bosses plea to stop the profanity, you better make sure you're tipping the dealers VERY well before loudly slurring "what the fuck do you mean? i can't fucking say 'fuck' in fucking vegas?!? that is the stupidest fucking thing i've ever fucking heard!"

luckily i had that foresight.

and luckily i don't remember most of the night. nearly everything i know has been pieced together by si saying "oh, and you know what ELSE you did? this was great, you....". which is when i say "stop! i don't want to know!"

however, i would like to know what i did to cause the big nasty bruise on my stomach. picture to follow, because you totally want to see it, i know you do.

*also good enough to get kicked out of a hockey game while in college. because it also takes serious talent to be that rowdy.