deep breath

while driving along 1-70 with my mom the other day.

KATIE! Watch your speed!

i'm only going 65

you're going 70! and the speed limit is 55!

mom. i'm fine. i'm keeping up with traffic*

well that doesn't matter - you're still going above the speed limit. look, you're going faster than that person there (points out slow ass grandma car in right lane). you're going to get another ticket.

mom, the only time i get tickets is with the photo radar in a school zone.** besides, it's going to be 65 in a few miles.***

she had a death grip on the seat until we reached our destination, driving 70 the whole way. being a grown-up is fun.

*which was actually true and i think that's the safest way to drive
**also true
***again, true.