come on, be a man!

why can't i meet a man that can plan a date?

typical exchange i've had lately. with guys that i've only been out with once or twice.

man: so, do you want to hang out this week?

me: sure. when?

man: umm.. well when are you free?

me: i'm free friday.

man: well, that doesn't work for me - are you free wednesday?

me: um, i guess so. what do you have in mind?

man: not sure. any ideas?

me: well, we could do dinner or go to a show or something. why don't you decide and pick me up at 7.

man: well i don't know if i really want to go out.. maybe we could watch a movie at your place?*

ok. so you want to have a date with me. but you don't actually want to GO anywhere. you want to hang out at my place, which means that not only is that night like every other night i've stayed home, but this time i have to actually clean and make sure my fridge is stocked.

this is how i would prefer our exchange go:

man: are you free friday? i'd love to take you out.

me: sure, that sounds great!

man: cool, i'll pick you up at 7.

me: perfect, i'll see you then!

i feel like i'm being cheated out of the first few months of a relationship. where you're trying to impress each other still - dressing up for each other, going to cool places, doing fun things. the butterflies in your stomach when you're getting ready. the anticipation of kissing them at the end of the night. getting to KNOW them.

i meet a guy for drinks, and suddenly his toothbrush is in my bathroom and we're "hanging out" at my place every night. it's from zero to boyfriend in 2 dates. i am SO not ready for that.

you want to date me? then you've got to put in the effort.

trust me, you'll get something good in return.

*which we all know is code for, "i just want to wear sloppy clothes, not spend money, and fool around"