ex marks the spot

j was talking about his ex last night. i usually have the mindset that ex's are ex's for a reason, and so i don't get bent out of shape when a current boyfriend talks about them. but something last night hit a nerve. maybe because we're getting so serious.. maybe because it's that time of the month. i have no idea.. but i was bothered because it bothered me.

this prompted me to reflect on past relationships. thinking about good times we had. wondering what they're doing in their life. do they ever wonder about me? what memories do they have?

i googled the only two significant ones to see if i could gleam any information about their lives. the one from college. my first. now married. living in boulder with his wife and 2 dogs. a perpetual graduate student. no information found on the second one. probably a good thing, but maddening to me.

i know that i wouldn't have been happy with either one of them. i should assume that j feels the same way about his and let that little reality check silence the insecurity.

just when you thought you've heard everything

Woman sits on boyfriends toilet for 2 years.

since i am feeling generous

here are some more good deals for ya.

i can't quite pull this off, but still cute!
victorias secret string bikini - $5.99
if you use the code BSEXY, you get a free tote bag.
if you also use the code SP89829, you get free shipping.

Print out the form for the Hershey's Mega Movie Ticket Offer (3/1/09) Limit 4 per household.
Collect and send in 15 Mega Movie Bonus Points from specially marked packages of TWIZZLERS, HERSHEY’S MINIATURES, HERSHEY’S NUGGETS, KISSES, REESE’S and YORK products to receive one FREE movie admission valued up to $8.50. Mega Movie 10% bonus bags of TWIZZLERS candies are worth 3 points each. Mega Movie 10% bonus bags of various Hershey’s candies are worth 5 points each. Combine point values for a total of 15 points for redemption.

new customer for redbox DVD rental? use code DVDONME for a free movie.

get a free noxema razor. there was a coupon in sunday's paper - and here is a try-me-free form.

happy shopping!

i heart walgreens

for those of you that haven't discovered walgreens easy saver catalog yet, you are missing out!

here is a run down of everything i bought and how much it ended up costing me.

12 bars of zest soap
4 bars of olay soap
8 bars of ivory soap
3 packages of cadburry chocolate eggs
1 tube of colgate toothpaste
1 bottle of garnier nutritioniste skin serum
1 bottle of thermadent mouth rinse
2 bottles of olay bodywash
1 bottle of garnier hair gel
1 bottle of old spice bodywash
4 cans of healthy choice soup
2 fuzzy dog toys
1 package of breathe right nose strips
1 package of gel pens
1 bottle of tide
2 birthday cards
1 tube of vaseline hand cream
1 gillette razor with blades
3 trial size herbal essence shampoos
3 trial size herbal essence conditioners

that's a lot of stuff, right? let's see how much i paid (including sales tax).
total before coupons and rebates: $121.66
less manufacturers coupons: $ - $9.60
less register rewards i earned for buying all that soap and bodywash and the razor: -$37.00
less rebates from items in the easysaver catalog: -$29.96
less 10% rebate bonus for putting the rebate on a giftcard: -$2.99
GRAND TOTAL: $42.11

that's right folks, i saved $79.55 just by being a smart shopper

there are two more free after rebate items that the store was out of and I need to get. some listerine mouthwash ($3.99) and some naturemade vitamins ($8.00). that's another $13.19 in savings (counting the extra 10% on the giftcard). i will buy $12 worth of soap to get the $12 in register rewards and then use that to buy the mouthwash and vitamins. that will add another $25.19 to my savings - making it $104.74!

and i won't have to buy soap for the rest of the year!

i'm ready

i felt it. friday night. returned the i love you. no weirdness. it feels right. this one is the one. besides just feeling it, i have noticed myself acting differently than i have in past relationships.

namely, i don't want to change him.

i can live with his quirks and flaws and imperfections. even the SNORING. and in return, he will live with mine. the positives far outweigh the negatives.

thinking that you can find a mate who has no negative traits is setting yourself up for a lifetime of dissapointment.

nagging always has the opposite effect. dwelling on things that you can't change is the fastest way to drive yourself crazy.

if i want to get some sleep, i need to suck it up and invest in a good pair of ear plugs.

i was caught off guard

so things with me and j have been getting pretty serious, pretty fast.

i've always figured that when i meet the right person, i'll just know. i've dated so much and have collected enough life experience to decide pretty quickly what will work and what won't. j seems to subscribe to the same school of thought. which is why it doesn't seem weird to me (although sometimes i think it should) that after nearly a month of dating we are already talking about the future.. marriage, kids, houses, finances. and we both are on the same page with all the major issues.

of course, it's all still talked about in speculation - if's and might's and maybe's. to minimize the thoughts of "whoa, are we going too fast here?" that might creep up.

yesterday we were at home depot, looking for parts for the peephole that j has insisted he wants to put in my door (to keep me safe). we're walking down the nuts & bolts aisle hand in hand when suddenly he stops, looks at me, and says "i love you.".

i was so caught off guard that i didn't know what to do. i smiled and kissed him and squeezed his hand, but remained silent. the whole time i'm just thinking whooooa and how i have no idea how to respond. 5 years ago i would have immediately said "i love you too!", not caring whether i really meant it or not.. or maybe more importantly, not actually knowing if i meant it or not. when you're younger it's something that is a little easier to throw around.

while i'm thinking about what to say, he says it again.

"i mean it, i love you"

i gave him a huge hug and told him that i could feel the same way but that it was too soon for me to actually verbalize it. and he took it well - and said he understood and no pressure and take all the time i need.. and know that he loved me and that it wasn't a term he threw around loosely either.

i'm thrilled that i may have stumbled upon the right guy for me and i'm trying not to be too cautious or jaded or scared or skeptical. and just let it happen.

sometimes it's hard to accept the reality that things may be happening the way you always thought they would.

i've been in limbo for awhile, anticipating the next step. will i be brave enough to take it?

"so, did your fridge throw up?"

j's response when i told him that i bought some regular high fat peanut butter for the mouse traps.

he likes to make fun of my organic, healthy food.

and i still didn't catch any mice. i will be buying different traps tomorrow.