"let's just be friends"
i have a lot of guy friends. there's a reason for that.
most of them have uttered the 4 words above.
it all goes the same way.
kt, we need to talk about things.
followed by a sad smile.
my heart skips a beat, i think oh crap, and i know exactly what is coming.
you are an amazing girl
i love hanging out with you
you'll find the right guy for you
i really want to keep hanging out with you
i'm just not ready for a girlfriend right now
and i smile at them and tell them i understand and sure, we can be friends. and on the inside i'm thinking.. if i am such a f'ing cool girl, then why the hell don't you want to date me? what is wrong with me? we have fun together. we're attracted to each other. i don't smother you or get jealous or go crazy. your friends like me. i'm honest and caring and supportive and a fantastic girlfriend.
while my heart is being crushed, my head is telling me that it wouldn't have worked out anyway.. you weren't into them; you were worried about his lifestyle anyway; you knew it wasn't going where you wanted..
i'm used to my heart battling my head. i'm just not used to having it lose so often.